Texans humor

I found this article on SportsPickle.com. Kind of like The Onion for sports. Pretty funny stuff.

Mario Williams disappointed he’ll never get to face the Texans’ offensive line

Houston Texans draft pick Mario Williams says he is honored to have been taken No. 1 overall by the team, but is worried about how not getting to play the Texans will cut into his sack total.“I was brought in here to rush the quarterback and make sacks,” said Williams. “But more than 25-percent of all sacks in this league come against the Texans thanks to going up against our atrocious offensive line. That’s not a luxury I’ll have, though, meaning my stats are really going to suffer and people are more likely to look at me as a bust. But, if you think about it, if I was on the Colts, Titans or Jaguars and got to play Houston twice a year, I’d probably get 10 sacks just in those two games. But now those are 10 sacks per season I’ll never get. It’s disheartening.”Texans general manager Charley Casserly says he is also concerned with how being on the Texans will affect Williams’s production.“In mini-camp and in preseason practices he’s going to be a beast, no doubt, because he’ll get to go against the five embarrassments we have on our offensive line every day,” said Casserly. “But once the season starts it will be a huge shock to him – like suddenly going from Little League to the major leagues. I’m not just if that’s an adjustment he, or anyone, can really handle.”

ESPN.com: Page 2 : 616* (* no asterisk required)

ESPN.com: Page 2 : 616* (* no asterisk required)

To go along with the Barry Bonds visit to Minute Maid Park, I've been reading a lot of articles discussing Bonds "achievement." (I missed seeing 714 by 2 games, but more on that later.) Page 2 does a great job of attempting to quantify Bonds' extra home runs as a result of steroids. They come up with 616, which is a huge number, but is well short of Willie Mays and only 28 more than Sammy Sosa. Of course, how many would we have to take away from Slammin' Sammy? In any case, good article for those who are looking for a mathematical analysis of Bonds' steroid situation.

I said that I was only a couple of games early in seeing Bonds hit 714. He was undoubtedly trying to hit home runs in Houston, but was probably conscious that he would be better received in northern California. Many on the radio felt that any crowd would have applauded the feat, perhaps showing their happiness at being present themselves. I don't think that would have been the case in Houston. Honestly, I'm not sure how I would have reacted. I was among those who gave a standing ovation after Bonds got plunked by Russ Springer, but would I have booed the home run? There would have been less support in Houston than Oakland. No curtain call. Probably, I would have stood up and said nothing, unable to cheer or jeer this moment in baseball history.

Witness to History, Almost

Well, I made it to the Astros - Giants game last night to watch Barry Bonds. The thought of him hitting 714 and 715 is unsettling. However, if it happended in Houston and I wasn't there, I would have been mad. I took a couple pictures, then felt bad about it, and decided I would boo should he hit a home run. The Astros made it easy for everyone. Bonds hit the ball a couple times, with one travelling all the way to the warning track. It was as close as he'd been since he was robbed while playing the Cubs. After three innings, Bonds was on track to hit nine times. He ended up at the plate five times. The last time was the best, with Russ Springer throwing the ball at him five times, with the last hitting him in the back. Springer and Garner were thrown out and treated to standing ovations. It was Springer doing what almost every baseball fan has wanted to do, and said that they would do, should they get the chance to pitch against Bonds. I tried to get seats in the outfield (hey, I'd take the money if I caught the ball), and ended up getting seats in section 334. They weren't bad, but certainly weren't as good as the seats we sat in (section 107ish) for the 8th and 9th innings. There were a bunch of seats open up after Barry quit playing. It didn't help that the Astros were getting rocked. Well, I guess now that I didn't see No. 714 or No. 715, I'd rather he doesn't hit them. But I'm not really sure I wanted to see him hit them before last night.

To watch Bonds, or not to watch Bonds?

Well, it's come to this. Barry is in town and hasn't hit number 714 or 715 yet. What do you guys think, I don't think he'll play tonight, after playing all those games in a row and with the flight and what not. So, you think I should go tomorrow night or Wednesday night? I suppose I'll try to go tomorrow night and play it by ear, maybe go Wednesday night too. I'd love nothing more than to see Barry crap out and not pass the Babe, but on the other hand - if it happens in Houston and I could have been there, but wasn't, I'd be kind of disappointed. Nobody will see another home run 714 hit for another 10 years at the earliest. Side note, I'll be taking suggestions for signs to bring. My suggestion was "Barry Bonds, huge bitch" but I'm open to other ideas.